Rediscovered

Oh yes, there's still a blog here. I nearly forgot about it. I expect everyone else has, and there's actually some comfort in that.

The realtionship I was struggling so hard with in my last posts is over. The end was as painful as the rest of it, and I thought it would kill me. It didn't. I don't believe the old adage that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger- not at all; I would be Superman if that were true. But losing Mark? It has made me stronger.

There is someone new, of course. One who is extremely special. One who is more than I ever dreamed of, the opposite of everything that was wrong with Mark. He's tall, dark, and handsome, intense, a musician, strong and smart and cool, and doesn't want to hide me away or use me.

I will never get enough of him...that's the problem, of course. He lives in another country. I saw him three weeks ago and will see him again in two weeks; after that, who knows? I could be with him always, so easily, but there will never be enough time together.

I miss him now.

And there's someone else, too. Crazy? Yes. This one is going to stay online only. He's a bit crazy, but in a fascinating sort of way. I'm almost afraid to sign into chat, because I know he watches for me. He makes me forget how much I miss the other one, though.

I'm feeling a bit scattered tonight. Maybe I'll try to remember to update here again, though.