Saturday, August 13, 2005

Still Here

Yes, I am still out here...Anonymous, thanks for checking in, and if you are the same Anomymous of "Long Loney Road", I wish you would drop me an e-mail, as I've been worried about you, too- you have often been in my thoughts.

It's been a long summer. Lots of ups and downs. Lacking inspiration. I got called into the local mental health clinic, accused of being depressed, because the local Public Health Nurse dropped in on me on a bad day, then made a report saying I "wasn't coping well".

They tried to get me to go on Prozac, and I bascially told them to fuck off. I'm not depressed, just incredibly apathetic. It's far better than the all-consuming anxiety that was killing me last spring.

I've been feeling very anti-social, but lonely at the same time. I have that feeling again, that something is about to happen. Something needs to happen- I can't go on like this.

No one really cared for it at all
Not the gravity plan.
Early, early in the morning
it pulls all on down my sore feet
I wanna go back to sleep.
In the motions and the things that you say.
It all will fall, fall right into place
As fruit drops, flesh it sags
Everything will fall
Fall right into place
- Modest Mouse, "Gravity Rides Everything"