torn

He's online and not talking to me.

I hate him, but I love him so much.

I'm so lonely that it hurts me. It feels like my chest will collapse from the weight of the pain.

i feel just like i’m sinking
and i claw for solid ground
i’m pulled down by the undertow
i never thought i could feel so low
oh darkness
i feel like letting go
if all of the strength and all of the courage
come and lift me from this place
i know i could love you much better than this
full of grace
full of grace, my love