No!

I've been feeling on edge all day today, expecting bad news, but I was still surprised when bad news finally came.

A couple of weeks back, the ex-wife of my brother/rapist made contact with me via e-mail to let me know how she's doing these days. She seemed to have turned her life around, was off the speed, and was pregnant by her new boyfriend. I figured there was no harm in writing her back, since she was no longer connected with my family.

But today she wrote me back again. Apparently she's left her new boyfriend and moved back in with my brother. They are still off drugs as of today, but I know that won't last long. Better yet, she told me that my brother is once again being allowed unsupervised contact with his daughters, one of whom he also molested.

Why am I the only person on the planet who can see that this man is a monster? Why has everyone else forgiven him for what he's done? Do they really think that it was only the drugs that made him evil? He raped me before he ever started doing drugs. He's a pedophile and he will never change. Anyone who trusts him around children is blinding themselves.

I don't know how to come to terms with this. Obviously I will be having no more contact with my sister-in-law. I wish to God that I had not gotten that e-mail tonight telling me that my rapist is enjoying the good life and the love of family and friends while I continute to live in exile. I can't bear this. I just can't bear it.