I'm just tired. Tired and lonely. Wishing that someone- anyone -would just love me. I need that. I need to be loved and not taken for granted.
My husband says that I should be pleased that he takes me for granted. He says that it's proof that our relationship is healthy. He thinks our relationship is healthy, and I am dying inside, my heart and soul are withering away.
No word from my sister in law.
Chimney falls and lover's blaze
Thought that I was young
Now I've freezing hands and bloodless veins
as numb as I've become
I'm so tired
I wish I was the moon tonight
Last night I dreamt I'd forgotten my name
'cause I sold my soul but I woke just the same
I'm so lonely
I wish I was the moon tonight
God bless me I'm a free man
with no place free to go
Paralyzed and collared tight
No pills for what I fear
This is crazy
I wish I was the moon tonight
How will you know if you've found me at last
'cause I'll be the one, be the one, be the one
with my heart in my lap
I'm so tired, I'm so tired
and I wish I was the moon tonight
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3 comments:
Life is too short to be taken for granted. I read your journal, and hurt for you, but at the same time, it takes a lot of courage to name those things that make our skin creep in the dead of the night. Have faith in this process you've started, it will help you in ways you can't yet see.
Yes, there is marriage counseling here, Shadow, but it's not an option. If I explain why it's not an option, it will give away too much about where I am, and I'm not ready to give up that anonymity yet. I thank you for your concern, though.
Here I am again, reading your blog, and I find myself, yet again, hoping for your peace. Your pain seems to never end. In my personal opinion, I'm starting to think this hubby of yours doesn't deserve you. It's none of my business in the slightest, but you seem far above him in self worth. You may scoff at that, but I just pray the day will come that you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say," I shouldn't have to take this anymore" and have the strength to give your life the push it needs to make it better. -Brianna
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